A few upstanding youths in our community threw eggs at my car th

Lower Township - A few upstanding youths in our community threw eggs at my car the other night, and created quite the mess. Now, I need to see a counselor for the traumatic experience. I'm suing the farmer who had the chickens that laid the eggs, and I'm going to see what I can do to ban eggs. This is horrific. Eggs should be outlawed, especially those big, extra-large, caliber brown scary ones. I think we should only sell extra-small eggs so they don't do so much damage. Gov. Murphy needs to hear about this. I called MSNBC. They're sending a reporter.