Should we moderate or mediate disputes if we have several kids? If we mediate, we really don’t allow kids to learn conflict resolution skills because we have resolved the issue for them, and have not allowed development skills necessary to solve future problems on their own. If these disputes are moderated however, the adult is mainly there to prevent things from getting out of hand, hold the conversation to statements that are generally true, and maintain a civil environment . If you mediate, it’s forever, If you moderate, you’ll be done when they learn how from you. Moderating is hard work.